Day 11: In a holding pattern

This is my new look. If I could really go out and order coffee like this I wouldn't feel so self conscious and it would make the poor people that have to talk to me feel better too. But it's hard to be a mophead... just a different kind of freakishness.

Daily Changes

The Bells Palsy doesn't seem to be getting any worse. My vision is still blurry a bit but the slack side eye is actually seeing better than the other eye so I think it's just lack of muscle pull keeping it out of whack. (The eyes used to be the same)

Still twitching the corner of my mouth in the morning. It is fleeting but it has become my morning ritual to keep my spirits up.

I have read that hearing in the Bells side can become heightened and I think I experienced this for the first time last night. I could hear a pipe squeaking within a pipe like it was being twisted back and forth. Not sure if that was the antenna on the roof which I can hear when there is wind (no wind last night) or what. I also heard a freakish amount of birds in the middle of the night. I don't usually hear birds at night and this was like a flock right outside my window.

I am not sure if I mentioned before that it is hard to look straight out for any length of time without the eye burning a little and wanting to look down. Focus goes and eye needs a drop so driving is harder but not impossible. This has been going on since last Friday or Saturday I think. I can't go out without my glasses and a baseball cap - they help tremendously.

Daily Mood

A little annoyed but still optimistic. I tried to find a doctor to give me daily B12 shots today - or a least a consultation to talk about the possibility and I struck out. Santa Barbara seems to be locked up by the Sansum Clinic system. A proud non-profit that still costs an arm and a leg for continuing treatment if you are uninsured. If I had insurance they would be able to help me... ouch, thanks. Otherwise, it's $115 a day to walk in and shot costs - if the doctor would agree.

I am extremely disappointed that they do not have the ability to make a package deal for this. It seems that a nurse could do it easily and they could get a quick $50 or so a day for a few weeks. But it's not about making that money and it's not about helping a patient. It just doesn't fit into their computer system. I am disappointed. B12 has legitimate proven studies if taken by injection. I am beating my head against the wall trying to find a provider. Tomorrow I go to plan B which I feel is doomed to fail but I will still try.

I did post on craigslist for the first time looking for advice. None yet but maybe someone local will read this and know a nutritionist or nurse practitioner that would want to help me and make some money.

The one good thing I did see on craigslist was a wanted post looking for a Burning Man ticket. My big trip to burning man in 32 days is not looking like something I should be doing right now. My heart is breaking... I bought my ticket the first day they went on sale and have been planning ever since. It would have been my first Burning Man. Can't think about it too much because it really does make me a little sad. I am meeting the woman tomorrow to trade a fat pile of cash for my ticket. I do feel very fortuitous to get all my money back without any effort at all - just a fluke to have noticed the post. It's a win-win... I hope the woman and my ticket have an awesome time next month.

The fantastic woman at my post office who scans in my package form each day and is always ready with a friendly smile talked to me today and I actually forgot about my face for a while. She told me that Amy Goodman? from Democracy Now just recovered from Bells Palsy. I have got to google this woman and see if I can learn anything new. She also told me that there is a doctor that offers free relaxation/meditation classes in town. Dr Winner? I'm looking him up too.